How to Knit a Pony

by The Shrugs

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(free) 02:35
(free) 03:13


released May 28, 2008



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The Shrugs Hamilton, New Zealand

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Track Name: Tiny Horse
What’s the difference between doing something right and doing it wrong?
Some kind of horse is kicking urging me to move along
It must be a pretty tiny horse cos it fits inside my chest
Sometimes it feels like running away is the thing that I do best

I’m gonna ride

My destiny is touching snow on a distant mountainside
Whichever way that the wind is blowing that’s the way I’m gonna ride
I want to feel the thunder of my hooves against the earth
Don’t wanna listen to you tell me what all of this is worth

What’s the difference between loving someone right and loving them wrong?
One day you will open up your eyes but I’ll be gone
I can feel it stirring up inside me every day
I can hear it telling me to up and run away
Track Name: Your Criminal Past
Take me for a blast
through your criminal past
tell me stories about what you did
it turns me on you were such a naughty kid

The fun never ends
With your criminal friends
Blowjob queens and drug fiends everywhere
But when you need a good boy I’ll be here

ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

You were so bad
You and your criminal Dad
Riding on a heap of charm and luck
It’s so cool that you don’t give a fuck
Track Name: Wilson Carlile
I had adventures
with macaroni
with glue and cardboard
and lots of glitter everywhere

Is life over
when you’re lonely?
I remember
what we used to do, so

let’s get stoned and fuck
let’s get stoned and fuck
let’s get stoned and fuck
like we used to do.

I had a hookup
Mabel Schwartzfeld
She had contacts
She had a guy on the outside

God I miss you
And I’m dying
I remember
What we used to do
Track Name: The Very Strange Voyage of Alexander von Humboldt
Natural Philosophy
Has always been something of a whore
I found myself in undergrowth
With bugs I’d never seen before

Too numerous to catalogue
In fevered dreams I count them all
Orchids of the palest hue
And trees one thousand meters tall

In the foothills of the mountain range
We met a man named Al-Haroun
For a little of the local coin
He took us up in his hot air balloon

Quite barren were the mountain sides
But some creatures managed to survive
And at twenty-seven thousand feet
I saw the highest fly alive

My love
My love
My love
My taxonomic love
Track Name: The Other Side of Hills
I remember there were flowers everywhere
I remember that the sun was shining there
That’s the moment I knew I was doomed
To die alone in bed within this room
Mountains out my window

The other side of hills
The other side of hills

This alpine sickness wasting me away
My body’s getting lighter every day
Feather-dry and brittle like a matchstick
The doctor had to tie me to the mattress
Or Der Föhn will come to take me
Track Name: I'm a Dork
You said, “honey, the thing about this
Is that when you come in close for a kiss
You close your eyes, and that’s why you miss.
I kind of find it strange.”

I said, “any inaccuracy
Is just because you’re too good for me
A guy like me gets freaked out you see
If a girl like you’s in range”.

Cos I’m a dork, baby, baby I’m a dork

After all, it’s kind of suspicious
That you fell for me because I did your dishes
The guy who fulfils at least some of your wishes
Is the one with dishpan hands

I’ve always been really shitty at stealing
I’ve been even worse at wheeling and dealing
The only thing I’m good at is feeling
Like no-one understands
Track Name: Wait for Thunder
Are you gonna
wait until you
know for certain
that it’s over?

are you gonna
wait for thunder
before you know that
you saw lightning?

Are you ever
Gonna realise
You already
Turned your last page?

Are you gonna
Take this silence
And fill it up with
Your heart’s music?
Track Name: Nasty Piece of Work
I know you’re a nasty piece of work
I know that you’re just a fucking jerk
You don’t care about the people you hurt
I know that your head is full of dirt

Cos you’re a fucking nasty piece of
Cos you’re a fucking nasty piece of
Cos you’re a fucking nasty piece of

I know that you think you’re doing well
I know that you’re gonna go to hell
You’re gonna fall down on your arse
And we’re all gonna stand around and laugh

Cos you’re a fucking nasty piece of
Cos you’re a fucking nasty piece of
Cos you’re a fucking nasty piece of
Track Name: The Cadaver
When I was in Paris
You took me to the movies
and in the intermission
you chopped me up for research

see I died for you
see I died for you

When I was in London
You took me to the theatre
You propped me up between you
you chopped me up for research

see I died for you
See I died for you
Track Name: Pretty Dart
I was born to make you miserable
I was born to make your life horrible
I am constantly misunderstood
If you want some peace you know you should

Shoot my heart through the heart of its heart
leave my body for the dogs to tear apart
turn my meat parts into culinary art
poison up your pretty dart

Do you know what I’d do if you left me?
I’d overspend, I’d oversmoke and eat
so I never want to see you walking out the door with my
Mcdonald’s voucher that’s my security blanket, that’s my safety net

Mummify me under endless sky
leave me hanging there until my skin is dry
make me a twinkle in the vulture’s hungry eye
I don’t care just let me die